Monday, September 08, 2003

today's weight loss stuff

My friend Sharon and I walked about 2 miles today during lunch. Not bad...check it out: I didn't feel a thing. My heart rate got up a little bit, but I was still able to carry on conversation.

I had a texas burger with fries for lunch. Some nice person stopped by and looks at me like, "Horrors! She's off the wagon!!!" This nice person then proceeded to go, "Wow, is that on your diet?" And I go, "It's not a diet hon. It's a lifestyle change. Moderation is the key word. I don't eat like this all the time." And then she goes, "Well, your program then." And I go, "It's not a program." Jaysus. Save me from the fucking semantics!!!!

All the while thinking, "Ummm...I've lost 120 pounds so far, dumbass, I think I know what I'm doing." Well I guess this person just thinks they have the market cornered on being healthy. You should hear her go off about organic food. Good for her. She's just trying to be helpful. And she's lost like 80 pounds doing her thing. So she knows something about it.

That's the thing...everyone has something different that works for them.

I just feel like telling those people, avoiding certain foods is not necessarily a guarantee of success...avoiding bingeing is. Changing your life, your attitude, those things are key. Eating a burger here and there won't make you fat. Eating them more often than you should will.

Ok so I've got my new athletic shoes, got my Pilates crap, plus my weights. I'm ready to exercise!!!!!
changes in my life from my weight loss.

clothes. In my first post, I talked about my dress size going waaay down from where it was. Now at first when I started losing weight, I was all worried about how I was going to buy professional clothes and stuff...I mean, I was gonna be single now and couldn't really afford it. Then I discovered something...I was used to paying way too much for clothes because I was really fat. And retailers stick it to really fat people. A lot of times, retailers like Lane Bryant know they got ya between a rock and a hard place when it comes to finding decent clothes. Well, hey, more power to 'em...they're in business to make money. At least someone recognized there's a market for nice clothes for big chicks.

Anyhow, I discovered this: it's not that expensive to get new clothes. Wanna know why? Because someone's always having a sale. Better department stores in particular. And there's always the clearance rack. Now when you're a 26/28 or even bigger...and I was...you don't normally shop the clearance rack, chiefly because it's been picked over big time. But when you're a size 18, welllllll there's a lot of nice stuff still left on the clearance rack. :o) So I've gotten all kinds of clothes for a fraction of what I used to spend.

And oh yeah, I can shop wherever I want now!!!!

shoes. Well I used to wear a size 12 shoe. And even at Payless, the only place to find size 12 women's shoes at a decent price, the selection was crap. Total crap. I might find one pair of shoes that I wore to death per season. Sometimes per year. Anyway, now I wear an 11. That's still a big foot, but the selection is sooo much better. And pretty soon I'll be a 10.5. And then I'm off to Wal-Mart baby. :o) See, the thing was, I didn't really wear a 12...my foot was just so wide that I needed that size in order to get the width.

Also, it's easier to wear heels now. Yes, heels. :o)

personal upkeep. So my friend Shannon told me we should get makeoevers to go with my, and these are her words not mine, "new sexy body." lol. Sooo we went and had our hair cut. Now I've got a great haircut. :o)

Also, I can really reach my feet now quite easily. I've been painting my toenails and boy do they look cuter with paint on them!! I also do my fingernails. I'm just enjoying being a girl! Oh yeah, and let's not forget the makeup.

people. People treat me differently now too. Probably because I'm so much happier. Happiness attracts, folks! People love it! So don't think it's just because you're fat that people don't talk to you. Check your 'tude! Sure, there's some of that crap going around, you know...the whole discrimination bit, but that's not all of it. It takes two to tango, baby.

Yep, men are noticing. The guys around my neighborhood aren't shy about it ether. I've been asked countless times whether I'm married. So I decided to get a plain gold wedding band to keep the flies away. I was wearing something called a mystic topaz ring, but it got too big (I've now lost two ring sizes). I signed up for an online dating service and it's been working out pretty well. At the least, I have people to chat with when I'm bored. At best, I've been having fun going out. :o)
Welcome to my Blog.

This is the first blog I've ever attempted to do. :o) So pardon me if it sucks. lol.

My blog is going to be about losing weight. I've been losing weight since December and have had a lot of success. So this blog will be about my success and the changes in my life it's created. It will also be about the challenges that it presents.

Now let's get some context or perspective here. I'm 26 years old and I live in Nebraska. Coincidentally, I live in the US city that has the highest number of restaurants per capita in the world. Isn't that special? Not exactly an ideal environment for losing weight. Nevertheless, I'm trying hard.

2003 has seen a lot of changes for me.

Let's start with divorce. I realized after 6.5 years of marriage that my marriage sucked and that I was doing all the work trying to make it better. I also woke up one day and realized that I only married my husband because I was so overweight that I thought no other man would be interested in me. That was a terrible thing for me to do to my husband, but he was a jerk anyhow, so I don't feel guilty about leaving him. :o) There's more to it than that, and lord knows I'm not perfect either. Buuuut...I'd have to say the blame is a 70/30 split, with him getting the lion's share.

Now about what you've really come to see...about my weight loss.

When I started losing weight, I weighed around 369 pounds. On a frame of about 5'9". Sooo not too good. I think my BMI was like 52 or something. Also not good. I was diabetic type II and also mucho depressed. I've been fat all my life though, so this was nothing new. I mean, I wore a size 24 dress in 8th grade, for crying out loud!!!

In about December, I became aware of a surgery called Lap-Band surgery. Ann Wilson had it. I think something like 70% of all weight loss surgeries in Europe are Lap Band surgeries. (more on that later). They put this band thingy around your stomach surgically and it helps you control how much you eat, by making you fuller sooner and keeping you fuller longer. After years of compulsive binge eating, my stomach had gotten huge and it took copious amounts to even begin feeling full. The band seemed like the perfect solution for me.

So I found a surgeon and went to a consultation. He told me to go on a high protein diet whilst awaiting approval and all that happy stuff. For the first time in my life, I believed I had a real shot at losing this damn weight!! Woot!!!

Soooo I started that high-protein diet and started losing weight. I didn't stick to it religiously either. Part of my lifestyle change has been to stop obsessing about food. More on that later. In the meantime, I also decided that I was gonna divorce my husband. Sooo I filed for divorce in late February and moved to my own apartment in early March. I was on my own for the first time in my life!!! Woot!!!!

I had the surgery in late June. The band is working out just fine. But between December and June, I lost about 100 pounds without the Band. Cool, huh? The power of motivation combined with 3 years of therapy...

Well now I'm down to about, I dunno, 250 or something. I don't own a scale. I didn't want to become obsessed with numbers. But one number that I will tell you about is my clothing size. I started at about a size 44...now I'm down to 18/20. :o) Ummm that's smaller than I was in 8th grade!!!!

My whole life is different now than it was 7 months ago. This is a pretty long first post, so I will post again today some more information and then we'll get to that whole daily blog thing. :o) Thanks for visiting my blog!!!